Serendipity
by magnessina
Summary: "What are you still doing here?" "I have no one to go home to." "Neither do I." / JJ and Hotch share a moment together for the first time in years. Fluff.


**I swear to God, I have no excuse.**

* * *

 **Let's assume that JJ is still a media liaison and she and Will never got married; so it's like ~5th season but two years later? Haley is dead. That's it. I'm so sorry. ;)**

* * *

It was Friday night and Hotch was still buried under a pile of files in his office. He doubted he'd ever leave this place.

He'd never see the sunlight ever again. He'd never take a deep breath of fresh air. He'd grow old and grey in here.

Alright, maybe he was being a little bit over-dramatic, but it was almost 9pm and he still had about two hours of constant work ahead of him. Considering that he'd entered the office at 7am, he had every right to behave like a big grump that he was. At least that's what he told himself.

Groaning, he threw his pen onto the desk and decided to get himself some coffee; he hoped it would provide him with some more energy to get this paperwork done.

When he left his office and walked down the stairs, heading towards the kitchen, he noticed a familiar blonde elbows-deep in her own paperwork. Hotch frowned; it was late and she was still here. Shouldn't she be having fun with her son instead of spending her Friday night at the bureau?

"What are you still doing here?" He asked, scolding himself quietly for having sounded as if he was accusing her of a crime, when he was merely curious. And a little baffled, although he knew that she was an incredibly devoted employee. JJ must've been very focused on whatever she was reviewing, because she gasped softly when she heard him. When she realised it was Hotch, she smiled warmly, albeit looked rather melancholic, if anyone asked him.

"I have no one to go home to," she replied simply, not elaborating on the subject.

"Neither do I," Hotch nodded. That, he could understand. "I'll leave you to it, then," he added, gesturing at the pile of folders in front of her. JJ smiled again and got back to work.

On his way to the kitchen, he tried to remember when was the last time they had had the chance to talk. He and JJ used to be quite close, back when he was still married to Haley and JJ was pregnant with Henry. They would talk about their children as often as they could, and then everything kind of… stopped. He got divorced and when he finally thought he was moving on, Haley died and he had to deal with his own problems all over again.

And things between him and JJ hadn't been the same since then.

Shaking his head, Hotch grabbed another mug from the shelf and made a second cup of coffee for her. It was late, he was beyond done with the paperwork, and they both deserved a break.

He just hoped she wouldn't think this situation odd. True, he was her boss, but it didn't mean they couldn't spend a little while together.

"Do you, perhaps, fancy a coffee?" Hotch asked, approaching her desk for the second time that night. He tried to smile but he knew it must have looked more like a grimace; he did have problems with smiling.

Still.

If JJ was surprised, she hid it well.

"Oh, I'd love to! I can't even see straight anymore and I was too lazy to get up and make one myself," she replied, sounding grateful. "Would you like to sit here with me? Unless you'd rather drink your coffee alone, or have too much work to do in your office—" her voice trailed off.

"No, no, I could use a break," Hotch nodded, grabbing Morgan's chair and placing it next to her desk. It was a relief, truly, the fact that she was the one who asked him to stay, not the other way around; he really didn't know how to phrase it, and he did want to spend a few minutes with his former friend.

Desperately, he realised, which was new. To a certain extent.

And then, the awkward silence happened. Neither seemed to be able to come up with a good start for their conversation, so they both kept staring at their mugs, as if it was going to help them any. It was painful and embarrassing, and Hotch was about to get up, blurt out something about a sudden emergency, and flee to his office, when JJ laughed.

Actually laughed out loud, giggling like a schoolgirl, which he found quite adorable.

 _And that was really, really wrong_ , he thought.

"Why are you laughing?" Hotch asked, not being able to help himself but smile at her titters.

"It's kind of funny, don't you think? We both would like to talk to another adult about anything but our work and our children, but there appears to be no other subject for us to discuss."

"It's sad, you mean," he corrected her, taking a sip of his black coffee.

"It's both. So, how's Jack?"

He sighed. "Well, he's alright. Jessica took him with her for a short vacation, so I'm on my own this weekend. He started school this year and couldn't be more excited about learning." Hotch shook his head. "He likes spending time at Jessica's and that's such a relief. I can work and I don't have to worry about him. I do wish I could spend more time with him, though."

"I sympathise. I miss Henry like crazy, all the time."

"But you can't imagine quitting, either," Hotch remarked.

"Exactly."

"Where is he now?"

"He's spending the night at Will's. They had some daddy-son plans or something. I'm picking him up in the morning."

"Does Will take care of Henry when you're away?" He inquired. While he was aware of their break-up, Hotch didn't know any details. He'd never ask Garcia or Prentiss about JJ's personal life, and he didn't want to pry, either. Everything he knew was what he'd been able to gather from what their teammates had said in his presence. Which wasn't much.

"He does, yes. He works nine to five now, and Henry loves his kindergarten. He stays at my place whenever I'm in town and is with Will whenever I'm away. We're doing what we can, I guess."

"I'm glad to hear you're okay. Truly. I've never asked and—"

"You don't have to apologise," JJ rushed to add. "You had your own issues to deal with."

He did.

"Everything was easier with Haley around, you know?" Hotch admitted quietly. He didn't know why he was bringing it up, now, he didn't mean to. But it'd been _so long_ since he talked to anyone but Jessica or Dave, and JJ had always seemed to understand him best. "We'd had our problems, even long before the divorce, but back then, when we were together… In hindsight, it was heaven. Jack had a mother, I had a wife, I had someone who waited for me to come home. I struggled to get everything done as early as possible to spend some time with someone that loved me. And now, when Jack's not around, I could very well sleep here. The house is so horrid when it's empty."

"I know I could never compare my situation to your and Haley's, but I sort of know what you mean. There's Henry and I love him more than life itself, but I miss having Will around." Hotch lifted his eyebrow at that. "No, not in that sense. I don't miss _Will_ Will. I miss the relationship. As you said, I miss having someone that misses _me_. I miss being cuddled and having someone make a fuss over me, even though I hated it at the time.

"I guess, the difference is, Will and I never really, truly loved one another. And you've never stopped loving Haley."

"Haley was my first love," Hotch nodded. "She's given me Jack and I'll never stop loving her, but I did manage to move on. At least, I think I do. It's been two years since she died. Almost five since we got a divorce."

"So you're saying you're ready to go out and start dating again?" JJ asked.

"God, no," he chuckled. "I'm just saying I'll never forget Haley, but I'm not grieving anymore. Time has healed that wound. Happy memories stayed."

"I'm so happy to hear that," JJ breathed. "You so deserve to be happy."

"Let's not exaggerate. I'm content and I'm not depressed and miserable anymore. I guess that's enough for now."

JJ looked down at the cup in her hands and bit her lip. Not meeting his eyes, she said, "I've missed you."

Hotch blinked, raising his eyebrows slightly. "I have, too. I'm glad I've found you here tonight."

She wanted to tell him, then. She wanted to tell him everything – that when he was still a married man, she was so jealous of Haley. She was jealous because it was Haley that got to hug him, and touch him, and kiss him, and _love_ him. When Haley left, he was devastated; she wanted to tell him everything when he attempted to move on after the divorce, but there was Will, and then there was Henry, and then Haley died, and they have never been the same after that, so the timing was always oh so very wrong.

Now it sort of seemed right, but it was the first time they talked – really talked – in more than a year, so it wasn't _that_ right after all. He didn't want to start dating. He couldn't date _her_. But, JJ thought, they were both free and he seemed to genuinely enjoy having this damn coffee with her, which was an opportunity she was waiting for.

Hotch studied her expression for a longer while, not being able to make sense of what he was feeling.

He couldn't do that tonight.

He had to go.

"It's getting late," he said, getting up. JJ blinked rapidly when his voice snapped her out of her stupor. "I'm going to get back to my office and finish up the work, and then call it a night."

"Of course," she nodded. "I'll do the same. I think I could use some sleep." He turned his back to her, meaning to go up the stairs leading to his office, but something made him change his mind. He turned around again, just in time to catch her either frowning a little or pouting – he couldn't decided which one it was.

"Hey, JJ?"

"Yeah?" She looked at him, quickly composing herself.

"We should… We should do that again. The coffee, I mean. I enjoyed myself."

"Sure, I'd love to."

He left without another word. He didn't want to say too much.

* * *

When Hotch found himself in the exact same situation next Friday, all he could do was growl in frustration every so often. It was getting ridiculous, but the esteemed leader of the BAU – to paraphrase Garcia – he had to do what he had to do.

At first, he thought he was hearing things; he'd finally reached the level of exhaustion in which auditory hallucinations began. But no, someone was clearly knocking at his door and Hotch frowned deeply because he wasn't exactly expecting company.

"Come in!" He called.

"Hey, Hotch," JJ smiled sheepishly standing in the doorway. "You up for some coffee?"

That's when he couldn't help himself. He smiled genuinely for the first time in years – not counting the ones aimed at his son – saying, "Couldn't say no to spending some time in your company."


End file.
